A Night Filled With Mead
by jimmix
Summary: Hicstrid story. What would happen if you add one bad ass blonde and one drunk female twin that has a crush on a guy named Eret that does not notice her at all? Nothing good for the guy named Eret that only wants the valkyrie of his dreams but she does not want him. One-shot!


"Astrid come on! Only for today!" Ruffnut pleaded as Astrid took her newly repaired saddle down from the shelf in the stables. "You never want to go with me, and the mead hall is no fun without someone to go with."

"Why don't you ask Fishlegs or someone else? Maybe even Heather will want to go with you tonight," Astrid answered, trying desperately to think of a way to get out of going with her. An evening with Ruffnut in the mead hall, while mildly amusing, meant an evening of Astrid playing a combination of mom and wingman for a drunk Ruffnut who would only talk about Eret and cause a lot of trouble for them both.

"Aw come on, Astrid, it will be fun! Like that time Tuffnut and I took you boar racing!" The female twin exclaimed as the other blonde grimaced at the memory. That had been one of the worst days of her life. Almost dying on the back of a small snorting animal wasn't her definition of a good time. If Hiccup hadn't intervened when he did…the ending to that experience would have been very different indeed.

"Yeah, sure, if you can call that fun," Astrid deadpanned, readjusting her hold on the saddle.

"It'd only be a couple drinks. I won't even be drunk!" Ruffnut tried to assure her, lying so hard that nearly her jaw broke from it. "When have I ever lied to you?"

"Let me think…" Astrid said sarcastically, but in reality, she didn't even have to think about it at all. The number of times that the twins had created mayhem for the rest of the riders and Berk as a whole was staggering. Astrid folded her arms and frowned at Ruffnut. "How about the time you nearly poisoned Hiccup with that venom because you wanted to see the effects, and afterward you told us that a strange hooded man did it. Or that one time you stole the book of dragons from Fishlegs and told him Barf and Belch had eaten it. Or how about the time you kidnapped Snotlout and told us the dragon hunters took him so we looked on ten different islands before you got bored and finally told us!" The blonde retorted, all the while counting the events on her fingers.

Ruffnut held her hands up apologetically. "Okay, okay fine, I admit it. But other than that I've never lied!"

Astrid was about to reply but suddenly heard a squeak from Stormfly. She looked to her dragon, who was pacing expectantly outside the doorway and gave a coo when she noticed Astrid was paying attention to her. The blonde rider heaved a sigh. What was the harm in going to the mead hall after all? She was probably overthinking it all anyway. Maybe Ruffnut would actually behave herself for once… Astrid groaned. "You're lucky I promised Stormfly to go flying so I don't have that much time." Astrid said, heading outside the stables, her ax slung over her shoulder.

"So you'll go?!" The other female gasped excitedly, eyes sparkling as she followed Astrid out of the building.

"Yeah, fine," Astrid sighed in defeat. "But only this one time and that's it! Next time ask Heather or something," she warned, then started mumbling some curses and "why me's" under her breath.

"Yes! One Ruffnut! Zero Tuffnut!" The twin said with glee, jumping around in excitement.

"What?" Astrid asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah, nothing…. So see you later!" Ruffnut exclaimed, running off before Astrid could change her mind.

"Why in Thor's name is she like that?" The blonde asked under her breath as she mounted her dragon before taking off into the blue sky.

* * *

"Those muscles… That body... His beautiful brown eyes... "

"Ruff? Hey, Ruff! Ruffnut are you there?" Astrid attempted to regain her friend's attention.

"Just look at him… Me likey!" Ruffnut mumbled while staring at Eret in a daze, making Astrid gag.

"Why do I even bother trying to talk to you? You never listen…" Astrid grumbled, placing her half empty mug down on the table.

"How can I listen when such eye candy is standing before my eyes?!" The female twin shouted while swinging her mug around to make a point of how big of a deal this was. "Look at his muscles! He looks divine!" The blonde gushed as she stared at Eret, who was busy entertaining some of the older tribe members with stories from the past, all the while swinging his sword around in a grand display of heroism.

Astrid just rolled her eyes, a bit annoyed to be having this conversation again. What was this, the six thousandth time? She then made a mental note to ask Fishlegs if he kept track of it. He was always good with remembering things.

"Why can't you see his charm? Look at his tattoos, they are some of the coolest things ever!" Ruffnut cried excitedly, taking a big chug from her mug, or like Snotlout always called it, liquid luck. But mix the stuff with a heavy dose of Ruffnut and the product was anything but lucky. "Here, look!" She said while taking Astrid's head in her hands and forcing her to look at the burly man.

Astrid and Eret made eye contact for a split second, and he even flashed her a small smile. Astrid merely rolled her eyes but before she could make Ruffnut's arms disappear, she was released from the hold and turned to see a fuming Ruffnut.

"Why can't he look at me like that? What do you have that I don't? Huh? Tell me!" She yelled angrily, standing up abruptly and pointing an accusing finger at the other blonde girl.

Astrid could not stop herself from laughing "Ruff… Hahaha. Eret is like an older- hahaha, Oh Thor this is too funny. He's like an older brother to me! Nothing more," she finally got out, still trying to contain her laughter.

"I know, I know, you've told me a hundred times but... I can give him what he wants," Ruffnut said sadly, flopping down on the bench again.

All this commotion made some heads turn their way, but one glance from the hot tempered blonde was enough to hint that they did not need to interfere in their discussion at all.

"Ruff, why are you always doing this?" Astrid asked while holding her temple and giving a frustrated sigh. "He's only been here for a week and in only so little time you made all of us so sick of hearing about him that we don't even want to go to the mead hall with you anymore."

"You just don't get it, Astrid…" She sighed while looking down. But before Astrid could respond to her friend who was clearly in distress about this, she noticed Eret stand up and start giving his farewell to the older people at the table before coming over to their table.

"This can't end well…" Astrid muttered, picking up her mug and finishing its contents in one gulp. She then grabbed another one from one of the people that passed by serving the alcoholic beverages.

"Hey, Astrid! I just realized I never really thanked you for saving me and all," the big man greeted smoothly, ignoring Ruffnut's presence and taking a seat next to the other blonde. The blatant favoritism made Astrid feel quite uncomfortable, to say the least, especially with knowing the way Ruffnut felt about Eret.

Astrid raised an eyebrow and looked at Eret in annoyance at his decision to ignore Ruff. "Yeah, no problem… You still know Ruffnut?" The girl that likes you and all that, she added in her thoughts but decided to not say it aloud.

"Ah, Ruffnut didn't notice you there!" Eret said, a bit surprised. Ruffnut just gave a weak reply, completely put down that she had just been ignored by one of the godliest men in the Barbaric Archipelago. "Anyway," Eret started, turning back to Astrid. "I noticed you were looking. Did you like what you saw?" He gave her a smug smile, which earned him a glare from her in return.

"No, not really… I'm more for the slim types, not a muscle head.," the blonde admitted, while rolling her eyes.

Eret just laughed and smiled. "You know, if you want I could make you really happy." Meanwhile, Ruffnut quietly groaned because she knew this would definitely not end well. So she decided to get her head out of the gutter and stop sulking in her misery to try and ease the situation.

"Eret… Uhm, you should just leave it because she and-" but she could not continue because Astrid shot her a death glare that made her stop talking immediately.

"So the great Eret, Son of Eret, thinks that he can satisfy me?" Astrid challenged with a smirk, standing up from her bench.

"No woman till now could resist me. So you would be only one of the many," the brown eyed man told her matter-of-factly while taking a sip from his mug.

Astrid was getting a headache. She knew Eret could be a decent guy, but when he was drunk he could be a real dick. How could Ruffnut even fall for this idiot? "Hmmm, you aren't my type you know. I'm more into green eyes and a bit of sarcasm on the side," she hinted, though he still seemed to miss what she was saying.

"Honey, I can make you forget about all that," Eret slurred as he moved in closer while reaching his hand around her side. The blonde immediately shot into action, grabbing the offending hand and pulling it and its owner away from her.

"God fucking dammit woman! Don't break my hand!" The brown haired man cried out in pain as she suddenly maneuvered him into a painful lock. He tried to get loose from her but to no avail. "Why is she so strong? Is she a demon?" Eret thought aloud while Astrid got closer to his ear, pressing him down against the table.

"Dad? Why is Astrid hurting that man?" A small girl who was eating dinner with her family in the Great Hall asked curiously.

"Don't look, Asta, she would kill us all if you look. Trust me, everyone who tried to get her attention all ended up in broken bones. Her heart belongs to one man, and one man only," her father stated, ignoring the scene like the rest of the people in the Great Hall.

The older brother at their table could only grimace at the memory of his experience with the blonde woman. He could almost feel the pain in his arm again at the thought.

"You're so silly, Dad. Everyone knows that Astrid only loves Chief Hiccup," the little girl, Asta, said with a funny look. She then decided that her stew was more interesting than the scene that was going on.

Astrid got even closer to the man, strangling his arm a bit more. "Only one guy can touch me like that!" She spat. "You are only a parasite for me. I know you are here for only a week, but I am already taken so fuck off before I need to break your arm."

Ruffnut got up then to calm the girl down. "Astrid, don't break his arm. He didn't know. You know this isn't the first time this has happened." But it was useless because the girl was not listening to the female twin.

"Hmm, I like a violent girl sometimes. You know they-" But Eret's voice trailed off into a pained whine as soon as he felt his arm nearly break.

"You like violent girls, do you? Maybe if I do this…" The blonde said while pushing his arm a bit further up. "I don't like pushy muscle heads you know," Astrid told the brown haired man, deciding that if he opened his mouth one more time his arm would be ripped clean out of its socket. But the gods were on Eret's side, for a figure descended upon the scene and rested a hand on Astrid's shoulder. She whirled only to find that it was Hiccup.

"Milady, you are hurting the man," he whispered gently, "Let go." Astrid found herself going limp as Hiccup pulled her softly but deliberately away from the other man.

Seeing he was free, Eret sighed in great relief. "Ah, Chief! Thanks for the help," Eret said gratefully with a grin.

Hiccup just looked Eret up and down, studying him. "You're drunk, Eret. I recommend you go home and leave Astrid alone for a while," Hiccup told him, moving to sit next to the still seething Valkyrie and grasping her mug in his hand, taking a sip.

Eret adopted a confused look at seeing Hiccup drink from the same mug as Astrid, but ignored it.

"What's it to you? I can hook up with whoever I want!" The man shouted angrily. He took notice of how the people were watching now, many of them throwing looks of pity his way.

"True, you can hook up with who you want, and I would normally not care too much but Astrid is taken so leave her alone! Now please, go on home," Hiccup warned with a hint of irritation in his voice. He'd only left for ten minutes for a short trip to the nest but already chaos had nearly consumed Berk.

"Hahaha, Hiccup no offense but I really doubt you could take me."

"You piece of sh-" Astrid started saying but was cut off when Hiccup placed a soothing hand on her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

At this point, Ruffnut was tired of this. She had just wanted to have a fun time and complain a bit about her crush on Eret, how had it turned into this? "Are you blind or something? She and Hiccup are a couple, you dense idiot!"

"Wait… She's the Chieftess?!" Eret exclaimed, shocked. His eyes bulged out of his skull, making the entire room laugh at his confusion.

"What did you think? They're all over each other nearly twenty-four seven. They might as well just live together but they're waiting for the wedding which is in six weeks!" Ruffnut exclaimed in frustration.

"Ah, sorry I did… Not know. Ugh, maybe…maybe I do need some sleep…" Eret apologized, finally realizing he was more than a bit wobbly on his feet.

"Tuff, here, now!" Ruffnut shouted across the Great Hall, making a blond haired Viking shoot up from behind a barrel.

"Wait, how long has Tuff been here? And why?" Astrid asked, really confused as to what he was doing there.

"We are twins, you know. Where do you think he was, at home? Tuff, take this idiot... We're going home!" Ruffnut ordered, then excused herself from the table after wishing Astrid and Hiccup a nice night. She threw in a wink at the end and the couple blushed at the implication.

"Yeah, this is going to hurt… But I don't want to take care of two drunks that can't stop complaining. No hard feelings?" Tuffnut asked before taking his sister's mug and swiftly hitting Eret square on the head, causing the crowd to wince and the muscle head to crumble to the ground.

"Ooh… That's gonna leave a mark," Astrid said, unable to hide the smirk that grew on her face even if she'd tried. "But can you tell me why you were behind a barrel?"

"It's a twin thing," the male twin said while starting to drag Eret out of the Great Hall.

* * *

"So…it seems I missed a lot." Hiccup grinned down at Astrid.

"Eh, you know, the normal stuff… Guys trying to get their bones broken. Nothing new there," Astrid explained with a bigger than necessary smirk on her face.

"Milady, does that mean I will get my bones broken?" Hiccup asked in a sarcastic tone, making the blonde chuckle.

"You are such a dork! You know that?" Astrid said, hitting his shoulder affectionately. She then pulled him closer to kiss his lips. Gods, had she ever missed this. There was not place she'd rather be, no man she'd rather have. And with that, she pulled her husband-to-be even closer and deepened the kiss.

Hiccup's mind went blank for a sec, lost in their intimate moment. How…just how had he been so lucky to get a girl like Astrid?


End file.
